


After All These Years

by karmy18



Category: Faking It, Faking It (TV 2014), karmy - Fandom
Genre: After all these years, F/F, Faking It - Freeform, Karmy - Freeform, maybe its an always thing, there is still that something more, to me it is, yet another story that I'm rescuing from the depths of my computer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 09:26:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19196128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karmy18/pseuds/karmy18
Summary: This takes post 1x08, Burnt Toast.This story follows as is if Karma did find out that Amy slept with Liam and didn't forgive her.





	1. Chapter 1

Amy had tried to talk to Karma. Karma didn’t want to hear it.

By the time Karma wanted to talk to Amy the door had closed.

Whatever they had between them was over.

Amy and Karma went there separate ways

That didn’t make it hurt any less.

It just was what it was.

 

******

**10** **Year High School Reunion**

Amy had no intention to go to her ten year high school reunion. It was practically a coincidence that she was in Hester that same weekend.

Karma had been looking forward to the reunion. It made her smile just to think of seeing everyone. In the ten years since graduating Karma had worked hard to develop her music career. She had her own album and toured small venues throughout the South. She had done what she always wanted, but something was missing. Karma had been working at filling this mysterious hole within her. Nothing could ever permanently fill the void.

Karma thought she maybe she could find the answer when she returned to Austin. It’s where it all started for Karma. She had found her voice, her talent and words here.

She didn’t know who was going to be in town for the reunion. At this point most people from high school had moved on, or their parents had moved out of town. If the five year reunion was any indication of who would make it to the decade reunion she could count on seeing Shane Harvey and Lauren Cooper (Prom King and Queen), and Liam Booker. Of course there would be others.

But the one person Karma wanted to talk to, to right the wrongs, settle the past with was Amy Raudenfeld. If Karma was being honest with herself she knew Amy would not be caught dead at a high school reunion. Ever since their catastrophic melt down and resulting fall out in sophomore year Amy had stayed away. That didn’t keep Karma from hoping to see her after all these years.


	2. Chapter 2

Amy didn’t like being home. Even when she was a teenager it wasn’t her favorite place to be. Whenever she was home her feelings of inadequacy intensified. She felt like she wasn’t enough and could never be enough. Amy set the bar impossibly high. So Amy came home for holidays and events. Never for long.

Until now.

Shit had hit the fan.

Amy had taken a month off of work. She had all the vacation time she needed. In the past Amy never took of more than two consecutive weeks from work. She was a diligent and hard working employee.

She was needed at home.

Amy had been home for one week when Lauren (who was also taking a leave of absence from her adult life) reminded Amy about their ten year high school reunion.

Amy wanted nothing to do with it. She was done with Hester. She had closed that book a long time ago. Amy thought it was better to leave things alone, trying her hardest to move beyond it.

Just thinking about high school lead her directly back to Karma. She had promised herself to move on, that the past was in the past. Being back in Austin, sleeping in her childhood bedroom brought back memories Amy had thought she had long forgotten.

In the years since high school Amy had seen a plethora of women. Even had a relationship with a few of them. But nothing lasted.

Amy wanted to be happy, which is why she moved away from home. Being home made it challenging. She was doing her job of being a good daughter. But that wasn’t enough, it never was. Pretending to be someone you’re not was draining, and left Amy feeling empty just like old times.

 

Karma had followed her parents to the farmer’s market for old times sake. But Karma had held firm not to wear the infamous kale suit.

After Karma helped her parents set up she started to walk the market by herself. She was fascinated by the diverse colors, people and food. She could feel a new song growing within her. Karma kept walking pausing only briefly to soak in the sights and smell of each booth.

Karma was snapped out of her reverie when someone tapped her on the shoulder. “Well isn’t it the famous Karma Ashcroft!”

Before Karma turned she knew it was Shane Harvey, “Isn’t it the fabulous Shane Harvey.”

They embraced each other.

“So how you doing, girlie?”

“Good. In town for the reunion. Want to grab something to drink and sit down to talk?”

“Sounds great.” Shane smiled his signature one thousand watt smile.

Karma laced her fingers with his and walked to Karma’s parents juice truck. Karma mixed up their drinks. They took their drinks and found a shady spot to sit.

“So tell me about New York City.” Karma nudged Shane, excited to hear how he was doing.

“It’s great. I love it. I see a future there, I really do.”

Karma couldn’t help but interrupt, “What kind of future?”

Shane blushed, “Well now that you asked. I’m engaged.”

“Really? Congrats Shane!”

“Thanks.”

“What’s his name?”

“Thomas. We are so happy. We have already started to plan for the wedding. I wanted to tell everyone in person before sending out the save the date cards.”

Shane reached into his pocket for his phone. He showed Karma his lock screen. Shane was sitting hand in hand with a cute round faced blond man. “Shane, I’ve never seen you happier.”

“That’s what happens when you find the one. I didn’t believe it until it happened to me. But it’s true. God, it’s so cliché. But he just makes me so happy to be alive. With him at my side I feel like I can do anything.”

Karma smiled at her friend. It was wonderful to see Shane glowing with genuine happiness.

“Now what about you Miss Ashcroft? I know you have had your own career blossom. CDs and tours. By the way I loved all thirteen tracks of your last album.”

“Thanks. Yeah it’s what I’ve always wanted. Somedays it’s hard to believe I actually made it.”

“You worked hard. You have the talent. You deserve it.”

“Thanks.”

The old Shane Harvey came through, “So who is in your love life right now?”

“No one actually.” Karma looked at the ground. She knew Shane wouldn’t let her escape with that simple answer.

“Karma, come on. A girl like you! You must have everyone coming up to you.”

“Yeah.” Karma agreed quietly.

“So.”

“So what?” Karma asked knowing directly where Shane was going with the conversation.

“Didn’t any of them make you happy?”

“Sure. But it never lasted. It’s not easy. I know that, especially with my life style. Regardless, guy or girl, just, I never felt whole.”

Tears stung at Karma’s eyes. She felt embarrassed and silly for crying.

“Sweety. It’s okay.” Shane hugged Karma. “You’ll find the one, I promise you.”

Karma thought to herself, what if I already lost that person? 


	3. Chapter 3

Amy was getting restless. She was trying to do what she could but it wasn’t enough.

That Friday night Lauren took her aside. “Amy, come on lets go out for a drink. You deserve one.”

Amy gave Lauren a small smile, “I could really use a drink right now.”

“Good. I was afraid I was going to have to drag you away. Your mom will be fine here for a few hours.”

Just mentioning Amy’s mom wiped the smile from Amy’s face. Her eyes were cloudy. She was haunted.

Lauren snaked her hand with Amy’s. Lauren drove to the local bar they went to when both of them were in town.

“First round is on me.” Amy headed straight to the bar. After ordering two beers she made her way back to the Lauren who had found an empty table.

“So.” Lauren took a sip of her beer.

“So.” Amy looked at her step-sister and saw dark circles under her eyes. She knew it had been trying for Lauren too.

“Something tells me I won’t be able to get you to go to the reunion tomorrow.”

“That’s correct.”

“That’s too bad.” Lauren continued to drink her beer.

Amy set her glass down. “How is that bad?”

“Well.” Lauren bit her lip trying to find the right words, “Maybe it would help. You could put everything behind you.”

Amy’s face drained of color as she blanched at Lauren’s comment. She clenched the table trying to stay afloat. Lauren saw the effect her words had. She had no intention of hurting Amy. “Just, look, I know that right now is a really shitty time. I just hope that at least one good thing can come out of your time in Austin.”

Amy nodded absently. She forced herself to breathe and take a few drinks of beer.

Suddenly the pair was interrupted. “Well look who we have here.” Shane Harvey put a hand on each of the women’s shoulders.

“Hey Shane.” Amy said, trying to hide the pain of the previous conversation.

“And if it isn’t my fellow prom royalty, Lauren Cooper.”

Lauren smiled, “Hey Shane.”

“I’m so happy I ran into you both.” Shane smiled and brandished his hand wearing his engagement ring.

“Congrats Shane”

“Thanks. I’m glad I could tell you girls in person.”

“Shane, they didn’t have your fancy city beer, you’ll have to settle with whatever was on tap.”

Amy shuttered. She knew that voice even if she hadn’t heard it in over a decade.

Karma continued to walk to Shane completely oblivious of who he was talking to. She was wearing a simple blank tank and dark blue jeans. Her outfit put her curves on display. Her hair was whisked away from her face. She was beautiful.

Amy could feel a nervous sweat start. This made the second time in a matter of minutes that Amy had to fight down a panic attack. Lauren looked on with concerned eyes. There was no way for Amy to get out of this situation.

“Hi Karma.” Lauren said cluing Karma in.

Karma put the drinks on the table. “Hey Lauren.” She finally realized who the other blond was. “Hi Amy.”

Karma’s heart skipped a beat when she said Amy’s name.

Amy had to consciously remind herself to breathe and not die right there on the spot.

The four were silent. Lauren commandeered the situation, “Shane want to dance, for old times sake?”

“Of course my queen.”

Shane and Lauren got up from the table heading towards the dance floor.

Karma sat down in Laurens seat.

“It’s good to see you Amy.”

“It’s nice to see you too Karma. Congrats on your music career.” Amy’s heartbeat echoed in her ears, she was worried that Karma could hear it too.

Karma blushed, “Thanks. But how did you know about that?”

Now it was Amys turn to blush. “Lauren.” Amy swallowed hard and started over, “But, honestly I bought each of your albums. You are good, really good.”

Karma was shocked. She would never guess that Amy Raudenfeld would follow her career. Karma was left there knowing absolutely about Amy’s life. She recovered quickly. “What about you? What have you been up to after all these years?”

Amy didn’t know where to start. She decided to take a safe route and talk about her work. “I work a lot actually. It’s become my passion. I have been working for this non-profit for a while now. We help the little guys, the people who can’t defend themselves.”

“So you’re saving the world?”

Amy couldn’t help but laugh. “I wish. The firm I work for, we just do what we can.”

“That’s admirable.”

“So is following your dreams Karma.”

They looked at each other. Amy saw the twinkle in Karma’s eyes. Karma saw a piece of Amy’s kind and tender soul peak through Amy’s green eyes.

Suddenly they both looked away. There was an undeniable spark between them. They had shared a moment.

Karma felt whole for the first time that she could remember. Amy felt comfortable maybe even happy for the first time since coming back to Austin.

The memories of their shared past haunted both of them, but in that moment they were both truly happy.


	4. Chapter 4

****Shane and Lauren came back to the table with red faces and big smiles. Long gone were the days when they could barely stand to be in the same room together.

Lauren took a sip of her beer eying Amy trying to gage how she was feeling.

Amy’s mind was going a million miles an hour. Part of her wanted to leave the bar and call it a night. But that meant she would have to go home.

Things got even stranger when Liam Booker approached the table. He was well groomed and handsome as ever. “Hey Shane, I’m sorry I’m late. I had a few thing to take care of before I could make it over.”

Shane pretended to give Liam a hard time, “I know you are an executive now, but don’t forget about the people from your humble beginnings.”

“I could never do that.”

Shane smiled. “I know. Plus I’d never let you forget about yours truly.”

“So where’s Thomas?”

“He’s still in New York. I couldn’t get him away from work.”

“Well one of these days I’m going to make it out to see you guys.”

Liam smiled and looked to see that he had an audience. Amy was frozen to her seat as Liam and Shane talked. Memories were flooding her brain making it difficult to stay calm.

Karma was happy to see Liam, just not in this exact circumstance. She wanted to talk to Amy. With one quick glance, Karma could see that Amy was dying to leave.

Liam spoke to Amy first, “Nice to see you Amy, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah.” Amy got up. “I’m going to leave now. Lauren want to come with me or grab a ride?”

“I’ll go with you. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Lauren smiled attempting to diffuse the situation.

Amy was halfway to the door before Lauren caught up with her.

Liam took a seat. “That was awkward.”

Shane smiled sheepishly, unsure of what to say.

Karma was torn. Part of her wanted to run after Amy and talk to her. Did Karma have that privilege to implement herself in Amy’s life after all these years? It was apparent to anyone who took the time to look at Amy that something was truly wrong. Before Karma could decide for herself, Liam started to talk to her, keeping her at away from Amy. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you since I saw you preform in Dallas, right?”

“Yeah, I think that’s right.”

Liam and Karma had stayed in touch through the years. Even after Liam moved through the ranks at his dad’s company and got engaged he kept coming to Karma’s concerts. He was a sweetheart in that way. 

Sometimes Karma felt like a small part of Liam still loved her. She would never voice these feelings aloud. Karma and Liam had dated throughout high school. Karma started out being infatuated with Liam. Liam came to love Karma with his whole heart, but Karma could never reciprocate those feelings. They mutually broke things off before Liam started college and Karma fully committed to making her music dreams come true. A weight was lifted from Karma’s shoulders after the breakup. As Karma grew into adulthood she realized just how much was out there. Liam would always be her first boyfriend and high school sweetheart but Karma was beyond him. Liam always seemed to circle back to Karma. Karma was more than thrilled when Liam chose to settle down with Carly. Karma knew Carly hated her, Carly made it abundantly clear. But Liam seemed happy and kept the flirting with Karma to a minimum which she was thankful for.

“How’s Carly doing?”

Liam was momentarily taken aback with Karma’s question about Carly but recovered quickly. “She’s doing well thanks. The plan is for her to come to the reunion tomorrow.”

“Great.”

“God, I haven’t seen Amy Raudenfeld since graduation, or until tonight I mean.” Liam shook his head.

Shane and Karma looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Karma hadn’t seen Amy since graduation either. Shane had hung out with her a few times when both of them were on break from college. But Amy had practically fallen off the map in the years since. 

“Crazy, I’d never think she would come back for a reunion.”

“Same here.” Karma said absently.

Liam changed the subject. “Any ways. Karma, are you hitting the studio up, working on the next album?”

“I just finished up a small ten city tour, so I’m on break right now. I’m trying to get a few songs started before I hit the studio.”

“We’ll be the first ones to hear them, right?” Shane added smiling coyly.

“Of course.”

The three friends grabbed another round of beer and talking about nothing in particular before heading their separate ways for the night.

“See you tomorrow.” Shane said while getting into his car.

“See you then. Nice to see you as always Karma.”

“Likewise. Night Liam.”

With a wave Liam disappeared into his luxury sedan and left.

Karma took her time driving home to her parents house. Her mind was stuck on Amy. Karma found herself driving past Amy’s house and couldn’t help but wonder what was going on within.

 

Amy drove home in silence. She played the radio loud to block out her thoughts. Lauren looked on in horror, racking her brains to do something that would make Amy feel better.

Before they got in the car Lauren had apologized, Amy had told her it wasn’t her fault, but Lauren still felt guilty.

Amy parked the car in the driveway and made her way inside.

Both Amy and Lauren were quiet, not to wake Farrah.

Amy locked the door to her room before Lauren could come in to talk with her. She went into the shared bathroom locking the doors and turning on the shower.

Only then did Amy allow herself to collapse. Amy tried to swallow her sobs. She hoped that the shower covered the sound of her cries. It was too much for Amy. First her mom was sick. Then she had to face everyone from high school who brought back the pain of years past. It was like Amy was getting assaulted from the past and the present.

Amy forced herself to take deep breaths, eventually she was able to stand on her own two feet.

Amy took a quick shower, rinsing the tears away.

She unlocked the doors and put on a soft tshirt with comfy sweats. Amy crawled into bed.

As Amy drifted off to sleep she couldn’t help but think of Karma. 


	5. Chapter 5

Karma needed a break. She could only handle so much high school at one time. Karma was more than happy that she was done with high school. She only kept coming back to prove a point. She showed everyone how successful she was. Each time she went back to Hester she was hoping she could prove that same thing to herself. Going back reminded Karma of her past, how far she had come and what was left for her to accomplish.

Karma got into car after the brunch meetup. She didn’t really want to go home. She decided to go for a drive and see where she ended up.

Karma drove in silence like always. At this point music always surrounded Karma. It was rare and blissful for Karma to sit in silence.

Karma found herself at the park. She couldn’t remember the last time she was there. She locked her car and walked past the dilapidated playset.

She walked onto the path that wove into the trees.

Suddenly Karma heard someone crying. She quickened her pace moving towards the crying.

She turned a corner as the crying intensified. Karma stopped when she saw that it was none other than Amy Raudenfeld crying.

Karma was sure Amy hadn’t seen her. Karma could walk away and pretend like she never saw Amy.

But Karma knew that would be wrong. Amy was crying so hard you would think the world was ending.

Karma slowly approached Amy as if she was a wounded animal. She sat down next to Amy.

Amy looked up at Karma, “Jesus Karma”

Karma didn’t know what to say. She wanted to be there for Amy. Karma knew what it felt like when your world was crumbling and there was no one there to save you. Karma did what she thought was right and hugged Amy. At first Amy was stiff and rigid. Soon thereafter Amy rested against Karma and cried.

Karma rubbed circles on Amy’s back. Karma couldn’t deny it but in that very moment she felt like things were okay. That her life was on the right path after all this time. Being there with Amy just felt right.

Amy stifled her cries. She pulled away from Karma wiping at her face. Her voice was hoarse, “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay Amy.”

“No, it’s really not. You don’t have to say that.”

Karma titled her head to the side trying to see what was truly wrong.

Amy asked, “What made you come to the park?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

They both laughed.

“Honestly though, I was driving and found myself here.”

Amy spoke in a small voice. “We used to come here when we were kids.”

“That’s why it looks so familiar.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they have replaced the playground since then either.”

Karma turned to Amy pushing a lock of her blond hair away from her beautiful green eyes. “Amy what’s wrong?”

Amy was quick to answer. “Everything. Everything is wrong. You wouldn’t want to know”

“That’s not true. If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t be sitting here with you.”

Amy was confused, “Karma why are you doing this? You don’t need too.”

Karma was concerned about Amy even if they had drifted apart. “Amy, I can tell something is really wrong. Let me be here for you.”

Amy’s eyes began to tear up, “I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. But whatever. It’s my mom. She’s really sick. I came back to Austin to be with her.”

“Amy I’m so sorry.” Karma pulled Amy in for a brief hug.

When Amy looked at Karma she saw sympathetic eyes and a face she had memorized a long time ago. Amy whispered, “She’s not going to make it.”

Karma grabbed Amy’s hand. “I’m so sorry.” Karma kicked herself, she wish she could do something other than apologize.

“The worst part is she can’t remember the good stuff. We’ve worked so hard at our relationship. Finally when we are in a good place shit hits the fan. It’s not like I can be mad at her either.”

They sat in silence.

Karma spoke first, “How long are you in Austin for?”

“I have a few more weeks of vacation time. When do you leave?”

“I’m not sure yet. Amy can I tell you something?”

Amy nodded.

“I know that we’re meeting under bad circumstances but I’m happy to see you. I’ve wanted to talk with you for a long time now. I’m glad our paths crossed again.”

Amy smiled through her tears, “Me took Karma. Me too.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Amy felt happy, really truly happy. The type of happy where you feel so warm and bubbly that your body can’t contain your happiness.

She knew it was wrong to feel this way when everything else was going on. But for once, Amy was letting herself be happy. It was a gift to herself.

 

That’s how Amy found herself having dinner with Karma. Amy was wearing her little black dress with heels. She looked good and she knew it. It didn’t hurt that when Karma first saw her, her eyes lingered for a few seconds too long.

Karma was beautiful. But Amy always thought she looked beautiful regardless of the time of day. Karma looked mature and settled. She was wearing a white lacy top tucked into a red skirt that complemented her auburn hair. Karma could steal Amy’s breath away without even trying.

They sat across from each other both drinking wine illuminated by candlelight.

Amy rested her hand on the table basking in the moment. Karma placed her hand on Amy’s. Amy gave Karma’s hand a gentle squeeze. Their hands fit perfectly together.

As they waited for their food to come Amy asked Karma, “What’s it like to be famous? For people to sing along with you? Is it what you dreamed of?”

“Yes and no. I mean I love it, don’t get me wrong. The music is my favorite part. It’s always been the best part. But when I’m on stage I can’t help but wonder why everyone is cheering. Are they cheering for the music or for me? What made them come in the door?”

“You brought them in. It’s you Karma.”

Karma blushed, she spoke quietly, “You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not. I promise. It’s impossible not to love you Karma. You can hear it in your music. I hear sincerity, honesty, life. When you perform it’s like nothing else matters. In those moments nothing else matters but you.”

Karma had a question in her eyes.

Amy looked away, suddenly unsure of herself. She was silently cursing herself for ruining the moment.

Karma reigned Amy back in. “How do you know?”

Amy turned back to look Karma in the eyes. Amy’s eyes were open, inviting Karma in. “Because I was there.”

“What?”

Amy gave Karma a tight lipped embarrassed smile. “I already told you I have your CD’s. I’ve seen you preform live. You’re amazing Karma. No amazing, doesn’t do you justice. You’re magical. You love the music. You lose yourself in it. I’ve never been to a show quite like yours. For those ninety minutes I was transported to a better place. Money can’t buy something like that.” Amy’s voice trailed off.

Karma’s heart swelled. Happy tears pricked at her eyes. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“It’s the truth.”

The waiter brought out their food. Amy had ordered plain simple buttered pasta. Karma had a colorful salad of who knows what kind of vegetables. After thanking the waiter they delicately picked up their forks and knives and started to eat.

“Look Amy, there’s something I should have told you a long time ago, I’m-“

Amy cut Karma off, her eyes suddenly ablaze, “Karma please. Let’s just have tonight, okay?”

Karma heard the pleading in Amy’s voice. “Ok, just promise me that this doesn’t end after tonight.”

Karma couldn’t help but wonder what she was exactly talking about when referring to her and Amy.

“Promise.”

Amy stuck her pinky out. Karma smiled so hard her dimples showed.

They intertwined their pinkies.

“Promise”

They stared into each other eyes. It was a perfect moment. Amy thought that this must be what heaven feels like. Karma felt like she was soaring high above the ground. Nothing could bring her down.

As they continued to eat they stole glances at each other.

Karma’s face hurt from smiling so much. Amy couldn’t remember ever feeling so satisfied and happy in her entire life.

They squabbled over the check compromising on splitting it. After they paid they went back to Karma’s car. Karma looked to Amy before turning it on.

“So” Amy asked staring into Karma’s warm eyes.

“So” Karma giggled. “How does dessert sound?”

“God, I thought you’d never ask.” Amy exclaimed laughing.

“Ice cream?”

“Yes, you don’t even need to ask.”

Karma turned on the car. “I’m glad some things never change.”

Amy’s eyes fell. Her ears turned red. Karma reached over and pulled Amy into a tight hug. Amy spoke into Karma’s ear sending chills up Karma’s spine. “This feels so right.”

Karma couldn’t agree more.

Karma drove with one hand on the wheel. Amy held her Karma’s hand stroking it tenderly.

“I want to hear more about you and your job. You sound like a superhero.”

Amy snorted.

“What?”

“I’m not a superhero. I just try to do the right thing.” Amy responded confidently.

“That sounds like a hero to me.”

Amy closed her eyes. She thought to herself: _if I was a hero I could actually save someone. Instead of standing idly by doing nothing to help the situation._

“Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“How about you explain your job so I understand it?”

Amy paused collecting her thoughts. “I can do that. Like I said last night I work for a non-profit. Basically our mission is to help little companies or people who file claims of injustice against larger companies and conglomerates.”

“Do you like it?”

From the corner of Karma’s eye she could Amy smile stretch across her face. “I love my job.”

Amy continued, “It took a while to find it and dive in. But I can’t imagine doing anything else. It just feels right. I wish I could do more, you know? I wish I could help more.”

Karma didn’t even try to bite her tongue, “Sounds like you’re a hero.”

“Ha.”

“Seriously, Amy you are.”

“Well if I’m a hero, so are you Karma. You save people with your music.”

Karma rolled her eyes but choose not to push it. At least Amy saw that she was a hero of some sorts.

 

They pulled into an old 50s style ice cream parlor. To say they were the best dressed in the restaurant would be an extreme understatement.

Amy was in awe, “How did you find this place?”

“My drummer dragged us here a few tours back. I’ve been coming back ever since.”

“Wow.”

Karma and Amy ordered and ate in the car.

“Your drummer must be one cool guy to find this place. Thank him for me.” Amy said as she finished her cake batter ice cream.

“I can do that. He would appreciate it. He’s always finding little gems like this. I’m lucky he shares them.”

 

They talked about everything and nothing. Amy was fascinated by Karma’s tours. They sounded like grand adventures. Karma asked about Amy’s college experience.

Soon they found themselves parked outside Amy’s house.

Neither one would have guessed that it was well past midnight. They relished in their time together.

Karma turned to face Amy. Amy mirrored Karmas movements.

Karma delicately tucked a strand of Amy’s hair behind her ear. Amy flushed at Karma’s touch.

Amy leaned forward resting her forehead against Karmas.

Amy heard Karma’s breathing hitch.

Amy whispered, “This has been the best night.”

Karma smiled wrinkling her nose adorably. “I’m sad it has to end.”

“Me too. But we’ll always have tonight. Nothing can erase it.”

Amy was exercising all of her self-control so she didn’t kiss Karma. Amy wanted Karma so bad but she didn’t want to shatter the moment.

“Can we have tomorrow too?” Karma whispered nervously.

Amy nodded, “I couldn’t imagine anything better.”

Before Karma thought twice she whispered, “What about this?”

Karma narrowed the space between them crashing their lips together. Karma could feel Amy smile into the kiss. They were hungry for each other. Amy bit Karma’s lip making Karma moan.

They broke away to catch their breath with bruised lips. They smiled as if nothing was wrong in the world.

With just a single thought Karma crawled into Amy’s lap kissing her passionately. Amy never wanted the night to end. Nothing could ever top the feeling of having Karma kissing her like there was no place she would rather be.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a few days before Karma and Amy could meet up again. They couldn’t ignore their responsibilities no matter how badly they wanted to see each other.

Karma was on fire writing new songs. She could hardly put her pen down. She couldn’t deny the fact that Amy was the reason why the songs were basically writing themselves.

 

When they finally saw each other the first thing they did was embrace each other. It was a tight hug. Karma could feel Amy’s heart beat feverishly through her shirt. Amy could smell Karma’s signature lavender shampoo.

It was perfect. Amy didn’t want to be any place else other than Karma’s arms. Karma wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything else.

They found a seat and immediately intertwined their fingers.

Karma was the first to talk, “You know what?”

“What?” Amy asked as her green eyes sparkled.

“I feel whole. I wish I could feel this way for the rest of my life.”

Amy beamed and it lit Karma’s entire world. Karma decided that this was her new favorite moment. She would do anything to make Amy smile.

Amy was quiet letting Karma’s words wash over her. She savored each word. As the words dissolved Amy found her voice, “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I have you to thank for that. You make me happy in a way no one else can.”

Amy’s cheeks blushed. Karma thought she looked adorable. She couldn’t help but lean over and kiss Amy.

“Ahem.” A deep voice interrupted them.

The women pulled away to see Liam Booker standing with his fiancé, Carly.

Amy blanched, all the blood drained from her face. She didn’t know what to do. Part of her wanted to run. The other part of her wanted to stay with Karma and prove herself.

“Hi Liam.” Karma spoke evenly, even though she had no interest in speaking with him.

“Hey Karma. Hi Amy. Fancy seeing you here. Karma I thought you had left town since you never responded to my messages.”

Amy celebrated this small victory to herself.

“I’ve been here. I’ve just been busy.” Karma was ardently wishing for Liam to disappear. She stared at him, imploring him to leave. It didn’t help matters that his poor fiancé was standing idly by watching the scene play out.

“Well, now that we’re both here.” He put his hand on Carly’s lower back urging her forward. “I bet you guys won’t mind us joining you.”

Liam didn’t wait for an answer. He pulled out chairs for Carly and himself. They sat down immediately.

Amy’s eyes were glued to the table. She kept telling herself to wake up. But she was stuck in reality. Karma watched as Amy crumbled. She couldn’t help but wonder why Liam had this effect on her.

Liam kept talking, “This is my fiancé. You remember Karma, right?”

Carly tried unsuccessfully to hid her disdain.

”And this is Amy. We all went to high school together.”

“Nice to meet you Amy.”

Amy looked up trying to be polite, “Nice to meet you too.”

A bead of sweat rolled down between Amy’s shoulder blades. She always got cold sweats when she was on the brink of a panic attack. Amy berated herself, _how could I be this stupid and put myself in this situation again. I’m so stupid. Things could never work out. Karma could never choose me. I could never be happy. I bet this was just some cruel joke._

Carly could sense the awkwardness punctuating the silence. She tried to alleviate the situation, “So I know Karma and Liam dated in high school.” She gave Karma the evil eye before returning her attention to Amy. “Where do you fit into the puzzle?”

Amy’s head snapped up. There was a flash of anger before sadness and despair was painted across her face. “I better go. You guys probably have a lot to catch up on.” Amy shoved back from the table and fled.

Karma furiously turned to Liam, “Seriously?”

Liam put on his innocent face, “What?”

Karma got up from the table, “You know what.”

Karma ran after Amy.

Karma cursed herself. She was petrified of losing Amy for the second time. She knew that if she lost Amy again she would be lost forever.

Karma burst into the parking lot yelling at Amy’s back, “Amy! Please wait”

Amy stopped. She still had her back to Karma. Her blond hair shined in the light.

Karma took small hesitant steps toward Amy as if she was a scared injured animal.

As Amy spoke Karma could detect the despair in Amy’s voice, “I was stupid to think you could like me. Again. God, it’s like high school all over again. You have my heart Karma, always have always will. I don’t know how I could be so dumb to think you could love me.”

Karma narrowed the space between them. When Karma was sure Amy was done talking she carefully put a hand on her shoulder. Karma tenderly turned her around so they could face each other.

Amy stole Karma’s breath away. Karma doubted anyone could be as beautiful as Amy. Even with a tear stained face she was the most radiant and stunning person Karma had ever seen.

Karma took a breath before going all in, “You’re not stupid Amy. I don’t know how not to love you. I was wrong in high school. You need to know that. Right now in this moment and every moment after this, I chose you. I never want to lose you again. I love you.”

Karma put her hands on Amy’s soft warm face. Karma gazed into Amy’s eyes trying to speak to her soul. “I love you Amy Raudenfeld.”

Amy whispered back, “I love you too Karma.”


	8. Chapter 8

The words echoed in Amy’s head, “I choose you. I love you.”

That’s what kept Amy going. Karma kept her afloat. The situation at home was rapidly deteriorating. At this point it was unfair to even call it Amy’s home. Home for Amy was when she was with Karma. Karma was home.

Every moment Karma was apart from Amy she was writing new songs. She was practically finished writing out the songs for her new album. It was magical That’s what Karma thought of her time with Amy. It was magical. Even though Amy was struggling she could always put a smile on Karma’s face. That was just one of the many qualities that Karma loved about Amy.

 

Karma’s parents never questioned where she went. A part of them were just happy to have Karma under their roof again. Karma’s happiness was infectious.

Karma and Amy had begun to meet up every night after Amy’s mom had gone to sleep. No one ever asked questions. It was a new equilibrium. Karma parked outside Amy’s house. Amy got into the car pecking Karma on the cheek.

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

Amy started to sniffle.

“What’s wrong?” The moment Karma asked she instantly regretted her words.

Amy broke down sobbing. In between breaths she squeaked out, “Any day now. I could lose her.”

Karma let Amy cry. This was the first time she had wept since they found each other in the park. Amy had been strong, stronger than Karma thought she could ever be. Amy tried to be okay. She thought that it would make things okay. It didn’t. But Karma was there for Amy always their to catch her when she fell. That didn’t stop Karma form wishing she could do more. Deep down she knew the only thing she could do was be there for Amy.

Amy got a hold of herself. “It’s just like I’m not enough. I can’t do anything, you know what I mean?”

She sighed wiping at her red eyes. “I can’t save her. No matter how much I want to. I can’t help her.”

Karma rubbed circles on the back ofAmy’s hands.

“It just hurts so fucking much. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way cause she is the one who’s suffering.”

“Hey, don’t feel bad. You don’t have to apologize for how you feel, ever.”

Amy met Karma’s searching eyes. Karma could detect a glimmer of light in Amy’s deep green eyes.

Amy whispered, “I’m afraid.”

“It’s okay to be afraid.”

They sat in calm silence.

A thought pricked at Karma’s brain. “I never got the chance to apologize.”

Amy stopped her. “Karma, you don’t have too.”

Karma spoke quickly, “That’s the thing I do. I should have done this a long time ago. I’m sorry for how I acted. I’m sorry for leaving. I’m sorry”

“You don’t have to apologize. We were teenagers. I don’t blame you for how you acted. I’m sorry too.”

“I just wish I had reached out earlier. It hurts just thinking about all of the moments we spent apart that we could have shared together.”

Amy rested her forehead against Karma’s. “We have now and every moment after this, right?”

“Yes.”

Karma felt Amy’s warm breath tickle her nose. She could feel her temperature rising. She kissed Amy as if her life depended on it. She started off slow but both women were hungry for the others touch.

When they momentarily broke apart Amy let out a small laugh.

“What?”

Amy let out a giggle, “I’m making out with you in a car outside my parents house. It’s like we’re teenagers.”

Karma laughed with Amy all the while she watched Amy’s beauty peak through her tired façade.

 

It got to the point where it was painfully obvious that they were both tired.

“You could come in you know.”

“What?”

Amy’s eyebrows rose. “You heard me.”

Karma was lost for words. She wanted to go inside with Amy. But she didn’t want to put Amy in a weird spot with her family come the morning.

Amy rolled her eyes, wrongly reading Karma’s emotions. “We’re not going to have sex. At least not tonight that is.” 

Karma scoffed.

Confidence surged through Amy. “Not while my family is there. But there’ll be time for it, I promise you.”

Karma blushed, “Okay”

“Was that a yes to the sex or coming inside.”

“Both.” Karma got her voice back, “But for tonight just going in.”

Am smiled lighting up Karma’s entire world.

They quietly walked through the house. Amy guided Karma through the familiar hallway. As Amy tucked her door close Karma took in her room. It was like how she remembered it yet not how she remembered it too. There were no pictures lining the walls. But everything else looked the same even the bed spread.

Amy snapped Karma out of her reminiscing, “Do you want a set of pj’s?”

“Sure.”

Amy grabbed shorts and an oversized white tshirt for her. Amy went to the bathroom giving Karma privacy to change.

Karma threw on the clothes folding and refolding her clothes before Amy came out of the bathroom in grey sweats and a matching oversized white tee.

The way Amy looked at Karma made her feel naked, like Amy was looking at every inch of her.

They cuddled on the bed, making out their limbs woven together. They fell asleep blissfully in each other’s arms.


	9. Chapter 9

A piercing cry rang out in the middle of the night. Amy bolted up right. Karma was slow to wake up. She was disoriented. The last thing she remembered was laying in Amy’s arms.

Amy’s pale and glistening with sweat. When Karma looked closer she could see tears mingling with beads of sweat.

Amy sat frozen as the cries intensified. Her movements were robotic as she angled herself off the bed and out of the room.

Light from the hallway flooded into the room. The cries ripped through Karma. They sounded primal and animalistic. That’s when it hit Karma. Amy’s mom had died. Karma understood Amy’s detached reaction. She knew. There were no words.

Karma pushed her auburn curls away from her face. She took deep breaths trying to compose herself. Amy needed her. She needed to be strong for Amy. That’s what propelled Karma out of bed. She walked to the bathroom splashing water on her face. Sobs echoed off the walls. Karma steeled herself and began to walk towards the cries.

She stood in the breath of the doorway of Farrah and Bruce’s room. Bruce was on his knees keening as he clutched his dead wife’s hand for dear life.

Lauren stood behind her father, one hand resting on his shoulder. Gentle sobs wracked her chest. She didn’t even know she was crying. She was stuck in the moment watching her father break.

Amy stood at the foot of the bed, staring at her mom.

As Karma approached she thought Farrah looked angelic. She wasn’t suffering. She was at peace.

A high pitch hum emanated from Amy. She was shaking like a leaf as if her body was trying to reject what her eyes saw.

Like the night at the bar Karma reached out to Amy. Amy all but collapsed into Karma. Amy wept freely. Karma supported both of them.

Karma wasn’t sure what happened next. The night was fuzzy. She knew that two men with somber faces came and took Farrah away. She knew that Bruce, Lauren and Amy stood idly by. At one point they all clutched cups of coffee, the room bathed in silent shock.

Then Karma was tucking Amy back into bed. She pressed her lips to Amy’s forehead and silently left the room.

Karma walked home lost in thought. By the time she entered her own home she felt numb. Her parents were about to ask her about the previous night but once they looked into their daughters face they knew something was truly wrong.

Mrs. Ashcroft put her arms around her daughter, “Sweety?”

“Amy’s mom died.” The words tasted foreign to Karma.

“I’m so sorry. Poor Amy.”

Mrs. Ashcroft stroked Karma’s hair as if she was a child. Mr. Ashcroft cooed over his daughter. For once Karma let them.

After a few minutes Karma politely excused herself, “I need to get some sleep.”

“Okay. We’re here Karma.”

Mr. Ashcroft gave Karma one of his signature bear hugs before she trudged upstairs into her room.

As she laid in bed Karma knew what she had to do.

 

That afternoon when Karma went back to Amy’s house cars lined the street. The house was filled with Farrah’s friends and family. Amy sat at the kitchen table with a half eaten sandwich in front of her.

“Amy?”

She slowly turned, “Karma?”

“Amy.”

Karma wrapped Amy in a hug. As Karma pulled away she kissed Amy. Karma could feel Amy relax into the kiss.

Karma took a seat at the table. Amy licked her lips. Karma looked into Amy’s hollow green eyes.

Amy spoke quietly, “When I woke up and you were gone-“

“I had to do something.”

Amy’s face held a question as she sat mutely waiting for Karma to continue.

Karma eased herself off the chair. Karma got down on one knee. “Amy. Will you marry me?”

Happy tears coursed down Amy’s face. “Yes. Yes. A million times yes.”

Amy pulled Karma up. Amy hugged karma whispering her affection into Karma’s ear.

 

A week had passed since Farrah had died. Amy knew it was time to leave Austin. Karma had waited and thought out their inevitable conversation. 

Amy spoke earnestly, straight from her heart, “I don’t know where I’d be without you Karma. You know I’ll never be able to properly thank you for everything.”

Karma pushed a loose strand of Amy’s blond hair behind Amy’s ear. “How about we start with the rest of our lives?”

“I like how that sounds.”

They kissed with a sense of deep longing and urgency.

As they surfaced for air Karma asked tentatively, “Amy?”

“Yeah?”

“I think we have to talk about what’s next. I mean the details.”

“I’ve been thinking about it too.”

Karma failed to keep the surprise she felt from showing on her face.

Amy let out a soft laugh. Karma fell a little more in love with her if that was even possible.

“You’re what’s keeping me in Austin. Lauren’s going back to Dallas. I can’t see Bruce keeping the house either.”

“oh”

“Why don’t you tell me what you have already planned out.”Amy’s smile finally reached her eyes. “You’ve always been the planner.”

Karma nodded. She felt warm and fuzzy. Amy truly knew her.

“I can record my music anywhere. I don’t want you to sacrifice your job. I know how much you love it.” Karma said carefully.

“I’ve talked to my bosses.”

“And?”

Amy paused for dramatic effect. “There’s a satellite office stationed here in the South. It’s actually located just outside of Nashville.”

Karma couldn’t believe what she heard.

“Karma?” Amy’s voice was thick with concern. “Are you ok?”

Karma practically jumped Amy in that very moment.

Amy whispered, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Karma pulled back to see Amy’s beautiful face. She nodded vigorously. Karma was overcome with emotions. It was like she was going to explode with happiness. For once in her left everything felt right, she felt whole.

Amy knew that her life was fractured. But she didn’t feel like she was going to spiral into life’s vortex of doom. Amy didn’t feel stuck. She felt free. She felt like anything was possible with Karma by her side.


End file.
